Brotherly Love
by CaitlinNeko
Summary: A collection of Elricest drabbles.
1. Nightmare

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist there would be lots and lots of fluffy brotherly love moments. But we don't see that happening, so that means I haven't gotten my hands on a contract for it yet.

_Note: _I wanted to make a place for a 'hopefully-going-to-grow' collection of my Elricest drabbles…so…yeah.

**Nightmare**

**E**dward Elric sat, bored, on the couch, flipping over the pages of the book in his lap. He had, of course, read the book before, and he was completely unsure why he had it again. Probably because there was a) nothing else to do and b) he had read every other book in the house. He supposed that if there was any downside to restoring his little brother's body it would be this; completely, and utterly _nothing_ to do anymore. Maybe he'd find something else to research to occupy himself over the long days when he wasn't off doing something or other for the state.

With a sigh, Ed shook his head, knowing full well that the boredom was worth it-he had gotten his baby brother back, after all.

Setting the book down on the coffee table, he flopped onto his side, lying there on the couch, wondering why hadn't tried to get any sleep yet, by this hour.

Light foot steps alerted him to another presence approaching him, and instantly he shot up, sitting upright, putting his left, human arm over the back of the couch. Looking over his shoulders, he felt the corner of his lips being tugged into a hint of a smile as he looked to Al.

His little brother stood there, barefoot, rubbing sleep from his eyes, wearing kid-ish, light blue pyjamas, decorated with pictures of tiny kittens. His long golden blonde hair (longer then Ed's, falling to about his waist) was loose, and Ed thought that he frantically looked adorable, despite being about 15.

"Hey," Ed finally spoke, "What are you doing up?"

"Another nightmare." Al sighed, fully opening his bright golden eyes, and moving over to sit down next to his big brother on the couch.

"Another one?" Ed shook his head, "It seems like you've been having nightmares constantly…"

"I just keep getting nightmares about the night we tried to transmute mom, of the gate, and…" Al sealed his eyes shut, shaking a little, "Mostly of you dying, or getting hurt, brother."

With a sigh, Ed smiled to his little brother, putting his right arm around his shoulders, giving him a gentle, one armed hug. "It's alright, Al. I'm right here for you."

Al nodded, leaning against his brother, "I hate it, though."

Ed smiled to his little brother, picking him up gently, and setting him into his lap. Almost luckily for Ed, Al was fairly small, because his body hadn't exactly been getting _proper_ nutrition while it was in the Gate.

Blushing, Al stammered, "Br-brother? What're you doing?"

Wrapping his arms around Al's waist, he smiled, resting his head on his shoulders. "Nothin'."

Al sighed again, slumping down, so that his head was against his big brother's chest, closing his eyes.

Using his left hand to brush golden bangs out of Al's face, Ed leaned down a little to kiss his forehead.

A smile tugged at the corners of Al's lips, and he soon drifted off, dreaming sweet dreams, and sleeping peacefully.


	2. Lights in the Night Sky

**Disclaimer: **We still don't see the fluff do we? I don't own Hagaren yet, sadly.

_Note: _This is a post-movie drabble, so there may be spoilers if you haven't seen it.

**Lights in the Night Sky**

**A**lphonse Elric sat in the back of the car, staring dully out the window at the passing scenery. There was no mistaking that he was glad to be with his brother again, but he was feeling kind of…nostalgic. He missed home, the feeling of familiarity, and all of the friends he had known, like Winry, or people he had re-met during the three years apart from his brother…

Edward Elric just stared ahead to the road, his glance occasionally flicking up to the rear-view mirror, to look at Al. As Al stared out the window, letting out a sigh, Ed shook his head. He knew they had a mission, and a goal they needed to complete, but he could stand seeing his little brother like that. One little side-track wouldn't hurt…would it?

It took Al a while to notice that the car strayed off of their track, pulling onto a side road, most definitely not the way they were supposed to be going. "Brother?"

"Hm?" Ed looked over his shoulder briefly to his brother.

Shooting up, Al jabbed a finger forwards, "Keep your eyes on the road! You remember what happened last time, right!"

"Sorry." Ed quickly looked back to the road, and instead looked to Al through the mirror. "I won't make _that_ mistake again, I swear."

Al grumbled a "But you just nearly did." shuddering as he remembered the last time his brother hadn't been paying attention to the road. With a sigh he changed the subject, "Where are we going?"

A cheesy grin broke out onto Ed's face, "Just a bit of a break."

"I thought you once said that 'you didn't work well with breaks', brother?"

Ed coughed, "Completely irrelevant!" With an inward sigh he added silently, _'Crap…of all things he got to remember THAT.'_

Al rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

Reaching out the window, Edward absently adjusted the side mirror. "Either way. It's for you, not me."

Al flushed a little, speaking in a quiet voice, "What? Why?"

Ed smiled up to the rear-view mirror again, "I spent _three years_ trying to become re-united with you, Al. I'm not going to have you depressed."

Al sighed, "Sorry."

Ed just shook his head, falling silent as they drove.

It wasn't long before a small town came into view. The sun was going to set soon, and Al grew curious, perching up in his seat, his hands on the back of Ed's.

Ed had a solemn look in his eyes, "Heiderich…" he choked, at the mention of his dear old friend, "Took me here this time, last year. There's an annual festival."

Al smiled to his big brother, wrapping arms gently around Ed's neck, hoping to help alleviate the sorrow that the mention of Heiderich brought to Ed. Al felt a pang of jealousy as well, but said nothing of it. "Thank you."

Ed felt a smile tug at his lips, as he fought to not close his eyes-Al would hurt him if he crashed again-as Al's words were breathed against his ear. Instead of saying anything, he just pulled the car over in a free parking spot, "C'mon, Al."

Al nodded, unwrapping his arms from around Ed's neck, and climbing out of the car, as Ed did the same, locking it up.

"What's first?" Al said, growing excited quickly.

"What else?" Ed grinned, "Food!"

Most of the evening passed by quietly, Al enjoying himself with all sorts of new things in this strange world, and Ed glad to see his little brother finally happy again.

"This inflation's going to kill me." Ed grumbled, as he counted his marks, as the night drew nearer to midnight, the moon shining in the sky, faint clouds blowing gently through the air. Ed was up at a stand, selecting what he wanted to buy, while Al was occupied by a ring toss game, which he just couldn't get the hang of. Ed chuckled at the look of utter concentration plastered on Al's face, his tongue stuck of the tiniest bit.

Ed turned back to the owner of the stand, buying his things, and then walking over to Al, his prosthetic fingers coiled around the top of the bag.

Al blinked as his brother reached around him, grabbing the ring he was about to throw right from his hand and gaped in awe as his brother got it on his first try.

Ed selected a large, stuffed, yellow cat plush, and turning back to Al he handed it to him.

Al flushed, and chased after his brother as he simply turned and walked back to the car.

"Is something wrong?" Al asked, perplexed.

Ed merely smiled.

Al watched in wonder as Edward pulled out a couple tools and some equipment, along with some things from the bag, and began doing some 'tweaking' as he called it.

Ed told Al to 'follow him' as he packed up the bag again, and hurried off in the direction of the near-by lake. Once there he pulled out what Al recognized now as fireworks, and began to set them up right by the lake, coiling out the long fuses and lighting them. Moving farther back, he flopped down on his butt next to where Al stood.

"Why are you doing all this?" Al asked, looking worried as he sat next to his brother.

"For _you_, ya idiot." Ed chuckled, flopping onto his back. "What'd you think?"

Al flushed a little, lying next to his brother, staring off to the sky. "Thanks.."

As the fireworks began to crackle and go off, they shot up into the air, leaving lights in the night sky. Al looked to his brother, and saw them reflecting in his amber eyes, and instantly the nostalgic feeling was washed away. His brother was here, so he guessed that 'here'-wherever it may be-could be home, as long as he had that. "Thank you, brother." Al whispered again, his eyes shining.

Ed looked to him, giving Al another one of those cheesy grins Al loved about his brother. "Hey, you're my kid brother. I'd do anything for you."

Al smiled, sensing the unspoken words in Ed's voice, and cuddled up to him, nuzzling against him, hugging the stuffed cat Ed had won him. Ed put his arm around his little brother quietly. Al closed his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips, staying close.

"I love you too, brother."


	3. The Love for a Brother

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, okay?

**The Love for a Brother**

**E**dward Elric sat there for what felt like hours, Al's head in his lap as he slept peacefully.

Ed could get no sleep. He thought that it felt so wrong to feel this way. But he did, and that was that. A guilty pleasure, he supposed.

Looking down to Al, he brushed golden bangs out of his face with a sigh. He was his _kid brother_ for fuck's sakes. It was normal for him to feel protective and loving towards him…but this much?

He could, and would, watch his brother for long stretches of time, examining closely everything he did. Watching how sweat glistened on his forehead when he had been working on something (even if Ed had offered to help), or if the sun was hot enough that day. Watching how he seemed so at peace when he played with kittens he'd find, which made it awfully hard to tell Al they couldn't keep them, even as he watched and noted how sweet and cute his brother looked when pouting, discouraged, when told this. Ed watched the way Al's lips would flicker into a smile when he saw a friend walk by as he waved. Ed noticed how Al would close his eyes and laugh, when one of those friends would stop for a moment to joke and talk with Al shortly.

And Ed also noticed how much he loved each of these things about Al.

'_What is it with you, Ed?'_ some people would ask, _'Why do you watch your brother so much like that?'_

Ed could only shake his head, and reply with a _'He's my little brother. I want to make sure he's okay.'_

They would only raise an eyebrow in response.

That was it, wasn't it? That was why he watched his brother. To protect him.

But how steep was the difference between brotherly love and a love that was something more? How thin the line?

And just how long ago had Ed crossed that line?

Ed snapped out of his thoughts as he felt Alphonse stir against him. Al's eyes fluttered open, looking up to his brother.

"Al, I-"

Ed was cut off as Al raised a finger to Ed's lips, silencing him as a light flush crept onto his face. Closing his eyes, Al's hand dropped back down as he whispered, "Just go to sleep, brother."

With a smile, Ed felt he could only comply.


	4. Acting Class

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist yet. Maybe for Christmas one day…

_Note:_ This idea was inspired by an episode of 'Will & Grace'.

**Acting Class**

"**S**o…why am I here again?" Edward grumbled, for what must've been the tenth time.

Alphonse sighed, exasperated. "I heard about this acting class from a friend, and they said that the teacher was pretty good." He shook his head, casting a glare at his older brother, "I wanted to take a look, but I didn't want to go _alone_."

"So why _me_?" Ed whined.

Al pouted, giving Ed a puppy-dog look, "'Cause you're my favourite, bestest big brother whom loves me oh-so much."

"I'm your _only brother_."

"So?" Al folded his arms over his chest, still pouting.

"Fine!"

"Yay!" Al hugged his brother, grinning.

Blushing slightly, Ed pushed Al off of him, "Yeah, yeah. But I'm not coming again."

"Whatever."

Ed slumped back into his chair, waiting impatiently for the teacher to come, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.

After a few long moments, the backdoor opened, and footsteps and a voice were heard, "Sorry I'm late. I had a customer for automail."

Ed and Al spun around to look at the teacher.

"W-Winry!" Ed sputtered.

"Didn't see that coming." Al mused.

Winry either didn't hear them or chose to ignore them. Moving to the front of the room, she turned to address her class, "Welcome, my new class." She smiled to the group, before switching to a matter-of-fact kind of tone. "We need to start with the basics. Does any one know the most important things to being an actor?"

Edward stuck a hand up before saying, in a sarcastic tone, "I don't know…acting?"

Winry chuckled lightly to herself, "Yes, that's fairly important. But, since you were so kind as to give me your input, _you_ can help me, as an example, of the real most important thing." She gestured to the stage behind her, "Join me at the front, Edward."

Ed flinched at the acid in her tone, shrinking back in his seat. "Crap."

"I said _get up here._"

Ed nodded weakly, moving quietly to the front.

"Now, Edward." Winry paused, looking him up and down briefly, "Take off your shirt."

"Wh-what!" Ed sputtered, indignant, turning a bright shade of red.

"Do it."

"F-fine." Ed slowly pulled his shirt off, blushing.

"Good." Winry nodded, looking at Ed's bare chest and abs. "The most important thing to being an actor is to look good. People _want_ to look at and watch you if you look good."

"Umm…" Ed raised an eyebrow.

"You know it's true. Would you rather watch, say, Envy act really well or, say, Al act terribly?"

"Do I need to answer that?"

"Not really."

"Good."

"Yeah, anyway." Winry rolled her eyes. "Let's see if you can act to _back up_ the looks." She scanned the audience, her gaze resting on Al. Smirking to herself, she gestured for him to come up, "Alphonse, you can be his acting partner."

"Al-alright." Al nodded, coming up quietly.

"You two read the script that came with the signup sheet, right?"

"Um…yeah." Al nodded, and Ed grumbled an agreement.

"But isn't it some romance between some guy and a chick?" Ed asked.

"An actor needs to be versatile. Try to see if you can act gay." Winry rolled her eyes, and then added under her breath, "Like you need to act."

Ed ignored the last comment, turning to his brother, whom was flushing a bright pink. "So, uh, what do we do?"

"Improvise. Only keep to the script loosely." Winry rolled her eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

"Right." Ed moved closer to his younger brother, blushing. He placed his metal hand on Al's shoulder, his left, human hand on his waist, feeling really awkward.

"Okay. So far you acting's shit, but you look…cute. No one wants to watch you yet."

Ed coughed, moving a bit closer, pulling his brother into a gentle hug.

"Br-brother." Al whispered, wrapping his arms gently around Ed's bare torso.

"Better…" Winry mumbled.

"The script…" Al mumbled.

"Uh…Al-Alphonse…" Ed gulped, trying to loosely remember the script, "I…don't want to be taken from you." Ed's voice sounded awkward.

Al held his brother tighter, burying his face into Ed's chest, "I'll stay with you!"

Winry nodded, "Your acting's no good, but _you look_ good. Keep going." She smirked, "Maybe try some adlibbing, too."

Al looked up to Ed, his eyes shining slightly.

"Al…I…" Ed's left hand traveled up to Al's shoulder, so that he was holding both tightly.

Al's eyes went wide, his face turning a bright red. His eyes closed as he accepted the kiss from his older brother.

"There we go." Winry nodded, satisfied with her work, "Now _that's_ hot."


	5. Rebirth

**Disclaimer: **Still don't.

_Note: _Mmm angst.

**Rebirth**

**E**dward Elric stood there, shivering as the cold winds lashed at his face and bare hands, sending a shot of cold air up his automail arm.

Turning his head to the side he bit his lip gently, "We should start."

"R-right." The echo like voice, accompanied by the metallic scrape as the armour nodded.

With an anxious sigh Edward knelt down, taking some chalk in his left hand, leaning on his right as he began to scratch down a large circle into the ground. Alphonse knelt near him with a metallic chafing noise, continuing the basic circle with him, before moving to the intricate detail within the lines, the guidelines and basis that would help determine the effect of the alchemic reaction held by the scientific structure.

To both it seemed like ages before the elaborate circle was finished, and ages again for Alphonse for Edward to review it, make sure it was perfect down to every little line, as he felt the slightest mistake could cost one, or both, of their lives.

After a terribly long moment, Edward looked up, nodding to Alphonse. The words felt cold, gut churning. Alphonse knew that after this _everything_ was at stake after this point.

"It's ready."

Things were set up, everything according to plan. Everything was going well.

Everything was going well, that is, until they started to go _wrong_. Blinding light flooded through the darkness, splitting the air of the deserted field.

"Br-brother?" Alphonse whispered, truly scared.

"It'll be okay." Edward foolishly promised, really having no idea.

The armour began to shake, as the soul began to be repelled from it, as Edward had planned, so that he could seal it to the body he created for Alphonse.

The force of the alchemic reaction actually split the armour, sending a large fragment of metal to Edward, right past his head, slitting his cheek open.

It was many more long moments before the light faded, smoke rising from the circle, and Edward saw the human figure in the center of the figure, Ed crawling toward it, happy, "Alphonse!" he called, moving quickly toward his brothers now human body.

Or, at least, it was _supposed_ to be human. If only things always went as planned.

Edward felt his eyes go wide, horrified. It was like reliving the day from nearly six years ago, when they tried to revive their mother. But this time it felt worse. This was not only his last family, but the one he loved dearly, as well. And this time he knew it wasn't just some creature that he created. His brother's _soul_ was _in_ that _thing_. It pretty much _was_ his brother. As much his brother as the suit of armour had ever been. But now this thing…his brother wouldn't live long in this state, and Edward knew that.

"Alphonse…" he sobbed, tears beginning to drip from his eyes, the salty water making the wound on his cheek burn, "What have I done to you?" he sobbed.

The thing his brother now was reached up to him, with what Edward could only assume was one of its arms. It made a faint noise, Edward feeling it seeming desperate, lonely and afraid. In pain.

"Al-Alphonse." Edward stammered, devastated, watching how his 'body' seemed to convulse constantly, twitching in pain, each muscle having spasms. Edward couldn't stand to know that his brother was in there, in pain, feeling the devastating side effects of his mistakes. Edward knew there could be only one method to fix this mess, as he could not attach the soul onto his own body unless he killed himself first, which would make it impossible to attach the soul anyway.

With a shiver, as tears poured down his face Edward clapped his hands together, transmuting his right, automail hand into a blade. "I'm so sorry, Alphonse." He begged, but knew there was no other way.

He sealed his eyes shut as he lowered his hand to the throat of the switching body, slitting it swiftly, putting his little brother out of the misery he was so plainly facing. It was a long time before Edward could dare to open his eyes, even after the noises, and the slight feeling of it twitching had faded.

Tears flowed down his cheeks as he looked to the body in front of him, knowing there was one last thing to do.

'_Brother.'_

Edward knew he would see Alphonse again very soon, finally seeing his little brother truly after so many long years. He knew would kiss Alphonse then, as he had longed to do for so long.

'_Brother.'_

Their mother would be there again too. Surely she would scold them for trying to bring her back when they were younger, but he wouldn't care. He would be glad to be with his family again, and that's all that would matter.

'_Brother!'_

Suddenly Ed became fully aware of the faint voice calling to him like that, "Al-Alphonse...?" he asked aloud, though he knew he could only be imagining it.

Edward took a breath, pulling the blade up, bringing it closer and closer to his flesh…

"Brother!" Ed's eyes shot open suddenly, expecting to see his little brother's smiling face and his mother hanging over him, but he was, in fact, met with something better.

The faint light that shone through the eye sockets signifying the soul bound to the armour shone with worry, "Brother." Al repeated, sounding concerned, "You were having a nightmare. You kept calling my name." He said, making a noise similar to a sigh.

"Al…Alphonse?" Ed stammered, looking to the suit of armour he knew as a brother, tears of relief threatening to come.

"Brother?" Al asked as his older brother flung his arms around the metallic neck putting his forehead against the cold metal.

"It was…just a nightmare." Ed said quietly.

Al shifted on the floor where he was sitting as Ed pulled himself and his blanket into Al's lap. "Aren't you cold, brother?" Al asked, upset that he couldn't properly comfort him.

"No…" Ed whispered, already beginning to drift off, "A living being is always warm."


	6. Mommy's Kiss

**Disclaimer:** Uhh…I don't think I own it yet.

_Note:_ Miniature (-er) Ed and Al! Hoorah!

**Mommy's Kiss**

**A**lphonse Elric sat underneath the tree by the family home, sniffling, looking at the ground. He was only four, and he hated it when he fought with his big brother. His brother meant a lot to him, and he didn't want his brother to be mad at him…

'_It's always over Daddy, too.' _He thought, pouting. He didn't understand why his brother was always so mad about their father, even at such a young age…it had been a few years since he left, so Al really couldn't remember him, let alone any reasons why his brother might be so mad about him all the time.

'_Be quiet!'_ Edward had shouted when Al had been trying to find about their father from him before adding in an almost murderous tone, _'It doesn't matter. He's not coming back!'_ At that point Ed had shoved Al out of the way as he stormed off, plainly furious. Flailing his arms, Al had tried to keep balance, but fell forward, skimming his knees, getting dirt all over his hands, knees and face.

"It hurts." He whimpered, blowing on the raw skin on his palms, hoping to make the pain go away, but only making it worse.

"Alphonse?" the sweet voice spoke behind him, the voice of their mother.

"Mommy." Al whined, looking up to her, tears down his dirty face.

"What happened?" she asked, kneeling down, frowning.

"Brother pushed me!" Al exclaimed, flinging his arms around his mother, crying quietly.

"Why'd he do that?" she asked, a deep frown creasing her face as she hugged him.

"Daddy made him mad again." Al sobbed, burying his face into his mothers shoulder, breathing in the scents of the soft purple fabric.

"Oh my." She sighed, pulling Al gently back. "Would you like a kiss better?" she asked, giving him a comforting smile.

"Uh-huh." Al nodded, pouting.

Taking his hands in hers she kissed both palms, then his knees, causing him to giggle a little before giving him a kiss on the cheek. Al felt like some of the pain was drifting away already, "All better?" she asked, smiling again.

Al nodded, hugging his mother quickly, "Mommy…" he began, looking up to her, "Why does mommy's kiss always make it better?"

"Well," she responded, smiling, "Because I love you lots, sweetie. And when you love someone, that makes your kiss special for them."

"Really?" Al went wide-eyed, fascinated. She just nodded in response.

"Now go get your brother. Tell him it's time for dinner."

"Alright." Al turned, running off to go find his brother.

Elsewhere, Ed was grumbling, upset. He didn't really like to fight with his brother either, but he hated talking about their dad. Their dad left after his little brother was born, so Ed at least got to remember him a tiny bit, but Al never got a chance…He shook his head, pouting.

"Brother!" the voice called from behind him as Al came running up to him.

"What?" Ed grumbled, looking to his brother.

Tears came to Al's eyes again when he realized his brother was still mad, "Mommy…said it was time for dinner." He said quietly.

"Oh." Ed said flatly, rising to his feet, "Fine." He turned, and began to walk past Al, not pausing until he noticed Al still just standing there, now smiling brightly.

"What?" Ed asked, looking at his little brother funny.

Suddenly Al gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Ed blinked, blushing a little. "Wha-what're you doing?" he asked hurriedly, shocked.

Al smiled, looking to the ground, "Mommy said when you love somebody, then your kiss is special to them. That's why mommy's kiss makes things better." He laughed a little, turning away, running off in the direction of their home. "I bet I'll beat you this time!" he called over his shoulder.

Ed laughed, chasing after his brother, thinking that maybe he should let him win for once.


	7. Sleep Talking

**Disclaimer: **Damn it, I don't even own Ed's _dreams_. Not even in _my_ dreams.

_Note:_ OMG It's Winry! Innuendo in this one xP

**Sleep Talking**

"**W**inry!" Alphonse whined, the metal scraping slightly as he ran to her. His brother was there on a routine checkup, and Winry _had _been working hard on fixing Ed's detached arm while he slept in the guest room. But that was _before_ Al had interrupted her.

With an exasperated sigh she turned the younger, metallic Elric brother, "What is it?"

"It's brother! He's sleeping talking!"

Winry raised an eyebrow casually, "Uh-huh…?"

Al slapped his forehead, the effect lost considering he was a huge metal suit that couldn't feel anything physical, "He's saying some really _weird_ stuff, though!"

"We all know Ed's weird, already, Al." she stated flatly, turning.

"Weird on a _scarring for life_ kind of scale, Winry." Al said, annoyed that she wasn't taking him very seriously.

Winry turned back, "Like?"

Al shifted awkwardly, looking to the floor, and Winry could tell he'd be blushing if he had a human body. "I don't want to _repeat_ any of it…" Al said quietly, making Winry strain to hear him.

"Oh. So he's, what, having a dream about girls?" Winry shrugged, "He's a teenaged boy. What do you expect?" she turned back to her work.

"Winry!" Al scolded with a groan, "_Fine. _Go hear it for _yourself_."

Winry sighed, setting her work down again, "Fine, Al. If it'll let me get back to work."

She rose from her seat and followed Al down the hall to the guest room. Winry slowly and quietly poked her head in, laying eyes on a soundly sleeping Edward.

She turned to Al triumphantly, "See, Al? There's absolutely nothing-"

"Mmm, Al…" Ed's faint mumble from his bed cut Winry off, making her face go pale.

"See?" Al whispered harshly, wishing he could have smirked victoriously at that moment.

Winry turned back to the room, mouth agape, looking to Ed as he rolled gently under his covers, a slight hint of drool on his lip.

"That's so…_good_." He mumbled as he shifted position.

"Oh…my…God…" Winry whispered, horrified. She turned back to Al, "Maybe we're just misunderstanding him?"

Al shook his head, "You can wait around to find out, but I know that _I've_ heard _more_ than enough."

Winry sighed as Al quickly turned, leaving her on her own.

"It tastes so great, Al…" Ed's voice caught Winry's attention as she turned again to listen. She wasn't sure why she was so caught up in listening to Ed's dream, but she decided not to think about it.

Winry felt her face go a bright red, blushing furiously as Edward gave a little moan of pleasure, "It's so _good_!" he repeated his earlier statement. Winry stuck her tongue out in disgust.

"Oh, _fuck_!" Ed swore suddenly, making Winry jump in surprise, "Ah, I bit my tongue…" he grumbled. Winry hoped that was the _only_ use of the curse word.

"Ah…Al…" this mumble was made Winry decide she had had enough, closing the door quickly, and retreating back to her work, face flushed deeply.

"Al…thanks…" Ed continued his previous mumble, just after Winry closed the door in retreat, "I never knew you were such a great _cook!_" he smiled in his sleep, "This apple pie tastes so _great_…"


	8. Dreams

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own it.

_Note:_ I've been working on and off on an Elricest drabble, but it grew past being a drabbled, and seems more of a one shot, that I may want to put into a separate fan fiction on it's own. If I do it will be called 'Bonding Memories' and released at the same time as the next update on this, so keep an eye out for it if you'd like? Please?

**Dreams**

**E**dward stared absently at the wall across from him as he sat on the dusty old red couch in the hotel room, bored; chin resting in the palm of his flesh hand.

Alphonse sat, slightly fidgety, near his brother, though on the floor, the metal shell glancing around, as if wondering what was going to happen next. Apparently Al wasn't nearly as comfortable with staying still as he had thought he was. His brother, by some miracle or another that Al couldn't manage to place a finger on, was managing to stay cool, calm and collected, though Al supposed he was just deep in thought about something or other.

"Hey, Al?" Ed suddenly spoke up, startling his younger brother with the unexpected speech.

"What is it, brother?" Al asked, anxious, moving his gaze up to his elder sibling, curious, only to find himself being intently studied with eerily tranquil, cat-like eyes. Al thought he'd blush had he had a human body at the time.

"We're getting awfully close to our goal now, huh?"

"Well…for my body, anyway." Al agreed, bobbing the metal head with a slight scrape of a noise.

Ed agreed to the statement with a non-committal, "Mm." and a dip of his own head, his golden braid launched from the place it had settled onto on his shoulder with the motion. After a long pause he continued, "But if you…_we_ get restored…what will we do then?"

Al suddenly looked away, and Ed felt his curiosity peak, but he said nothing of it as Al began to speak, "Hm…we don't have a home or anything, do we? And after so many years of traveling, constant running abouts…I can see why _you'd_ have trouble settling down in one place, anyway."

Ed raised an eyebrow, "What's that supposed to mean?" he ventured warily.

"No offense, brother, but you're a little short on patience. You wouldn't be able to just sit still and wait."

Ed felt an angry tick as he scowled at the suit of armour that served as his little brother, "Uh…huh…" in a devious tone, he dared Al to go further.

Al rejected that challenge. "No, no. It's nothing."

"That's what I _thought_ you'd say, brother-mine."

Al felt himself inwardly flinch at the mocking tone lacing his brother's words.

"But seriously, Al." Ed said with a sigh, placing both arms on the back of the couch, "If we have no where to go, then what will we do?"

"What _can_ we do?" Al asked, looking back to his big brother, "There's always Winry and auntie to fall back on, of course…"

Edward made another vague, evasive noise, saying nothing at first, letting the silence drag on, take hold of the siblings, the stillness feeling thick in the air, though Ed found that comforting, in a way.

After a long moment he finally spoke again, "But what do _you_ _want_ to do, Alphonse?"

Al wished he could bite his lip, feeling once again unnerved. Ed only addressed him by his full first name when he was discussing something very serious, or very important to him. This most definitely meant Al would have to be careful about what he said, "Well…" he began slowly, taking his time, picking and choosing his words, though he could tell that Ed was _not_ pleased with Al's hesitation, "It'd be kind of nice to travel, just the two of us, but this time getting a chance to see the world, to indulge in it, _feel_ it, and just…enjoy ourselves."

Ed frowned slightly, as if something about this did not please him, "And you're not just saying this because you want to make me happy or something, right?"

"No, no." Al quickly said, scared that his brother could be hurt with such a thought in mind.

With another raised eyebrow, Ed noted how Al pointedly looked in a different direction, avoiding the still gaze of his brother.

"It's just…" Al began, voice squeaking in the cute way that always made Ed smile, "I want…I want to be with you, brother. As long as I'm with you, I'll be happy in no matter what we do."

A calm, gentle smile tugged at the corners of Ed's lips.

"I agree, Al. As long as we're together."


	9. Hollow Heart

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing…D;

_Note: _Kudos to anyone who can guess what fan fiction inspired this. I'd tell you but it'd give it away. XP

Also…remember to look out for 'Bonding Memories' :3

**Hollow Heart**

**I**t was nights like this that gave the room a heavy, empty feeling.

Hollow, if you'll pardon the pun.

Edward would be found staring up at the ceiling, quietly contemplating nothing in particular, he would try to break the silence.

"Hey, Al."

But Al would not answer, perhaps too scared to do so.

The sound of cracking metal always seemed to fill the air.

"Al…Al, please answer me."

Still no reply would come, and Ed would grow anxious, looking over to the dim shape of his brother in the shadows, "Why won't you answer me…?"

"Brother…?" the whisper would come, chilled and quiet, questioning.

"Al, I'm right here. I promise."

"Brother?" the armoured form repeated, sounding like a scared, lost child.

"Al, it's okay. I'll protect you."

"Brother, it's…dark."

Edward could only smile, that eerie, small smile, pulling himself up, placing light, ghost-like footsteps across the floor, making his way over to his little brother. "I'll protect you, Al. I may have failed you once, but never, ever, again."

"…" Alphonse let silence drag on for a long moment, "Thank you." Came the hushed whisper.

Edward placed a cold hand on to a doubly cold shoulder. "I'm always here for you, though the others may not see it."

"But…" Al whispered, quietly, "Can I really be here for you?"

Ed's smile faded, "No…Al…don't say those things. Please don't."

"I'm sorry brother. _I_ failed _you_. Not the other way around."

"No…" Ed shook his head, pulling his hand away, taking a step back, and then came the hushed, "Don't say those things."

"Brother…you can't keep lying to yourself like this."

"No…I'm happy with the lie, lying to myself is the only way."

He turned away, going back to his bed, grumbling a, "I'm going to sleep." As he climbed in, turning his back on Al for another night.

_**X**_

The mornings were always the same, too. The air was always chilled and cold this time of year in Central, and so Edward would pull on layer after layer of clothing over his uniform (he felt the urgency to blend into the crowd at the headquarters recently, though he always wondered how well it worked with a large suit of armour following him). He'd be pulling on his boots to go to work when Al would scold him, telling him to get something to eat before leaving. Ed would grumble but comply, and go get some fruit before leaving.

The winter winds laced everything in the streets, giving Central that desolate, grim and grey look. Edward hated it.

"Brother." Al would say, looking to the sky, "It's lovely out, isn't it?"

"Only if you can't feel the weather." He spat coldly. Al did not reply. He gave a soft, apologetic smile to his little brother, and continued to walk.

"Brother…" Al began again, looking to the side of the road with longing. Ed followed his gaze to see a small white cat, looking starved and hungry at the side of the road.

Ed shook his head, "You know we can't take it, Al."

"Oh but brother!" Al protested whole-heartedly, "It'll freeze."

Ed sighed, knowing al was right, but also knowing he could not take it himself, "Al. We can't."

"Can't you at least get someone else to take it, brother?"

Ed sighed once more, grumbling compliance again, and moving to a woman with her young child not far from the cat, "Hey!" he called to her.

The woman continued to speak to her son about something Ed didn't care to listen to.

"Hey," Ed repeated himself, frustrated, "Excuse me. Miss."

"Come on, sweetheart," The woman scolded her boy, "We can't dawdle, or we'll be late." And with that, paying no heed to Ed at all, she walked briskly down the road, her son's hand in hers.

Ed grumbled, knowing Al would not be satisfied, so he pestered one or two more people, until eventually a little girl, with out Ed even having _approached_ her, went to pick up the cat on her own.

Ed stalked back towards Al, grumbling something about people in the city being jerks and the like.

Al laughed a little, "C'mon, brother. You don't want to be late, do you?"

Ed gave Al's large metallic hand a quick squeeze with his small, gloved one. "Yes, but that's besides the point."

Al sighed, leading his brother to headquarters.

_**X**_

"Yo." Ed called over the counter to Scieszka, "I need you to check some records for me."

Scieszka continued to busily work, not noticing Edward.

"Scieszka!" Ed called, waving his arms frantically over his head, "I sure as hell better get no excuses along the lines of 'Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't see you over the counter.'"

She continued to ignore him, working.

Ed punctuated his frustration with a loud groan, storming off back to Al near the doorway, "Maybe Colonel Bastard can help me." He grumbled as he passed Al, both making their way to Mustang's office, out the open door.

_**X**_

Nights…repetitive.

"Al." Edward whispered, "I'm sorry if I've upset you…"

Al gave wanted to give him a soft smile, "You've no reason to apologize, brother."

"Yes, I do." Ed frowned; sitting closing to the cold, dull armour. The shapes were always so hard to make out, especially in the dark. The hotel room was very dark in the evenings.

"Brother…why are we here?"

Ed blinked, caught off guard, "Because I have to work to do, why else?"

Al looked away, as if thinking it over, and he probably was with the silence that befell him, "Unfinished business…?" he mused quietly.

Ed shrugged, "Something like that."

"Are we…are we living in denial, brother?" Al asked, looking to his older brother for console, "I mean…we've no right to be here…right?"

Ed blinked, perplexed, "You're weird. We're together here, that's all that matters." He leaned up giving a chaste kiss on the side of the metal skull and shrugged it off in his usual manner, standing up and going to bed. "'Night, Al."

Nights…repetitive.

_**X**_

Chill winds, cold streets. Dull, dismal skies.

The mornings were always the same.

"Hey!" Ed called at work. How many days? Who was counting? "Colonel bastard." Al waited patiently outside.

Roy sighed, turning, exasperated to the young blonde boy in his office, "What is it, Fullmetal?"

"I think I've found another lead on the stone, I want to check it out."

A deep frown creased Roy's face, "Fullmetal…why must you continue to search for the stone?"

Ed blinked, caught off guard, confused, "To restore Al's body…why else?"

"Fullmetal…Edward…" Roy began slowly, unsure of how to put it, "He's gone, Ed. You can't keep going on like this."

A shocked look crossed Edward's face, but it quickly contorted into rage, "I'm getting Al's body back, no matter what!"

"I know he meant a lot to you, but you can't keep lying to yourself like this!" Roy practically shouted the 'advice'.

"Shut up!" Ed yelled back, fully enraged now, "You can't tell me what to do!"

And with that Ed stormed out the door as it opened, shoving past Hawkeye as she entered.

"Please, think it through, at least!" Roy called, worried.

Hawkeye blinked, confused as she closed the door behind her, looking Roy straight in the eye as she placed some paper work on his desk, "Whom were you talking to, sir?"

"Why, Fullmetal, of course." Roy answered casually; flipping through the papers she had just given him, nonchalantly.

A deep, worried frown crossed Riza's features, "Sir…I know he meant a lot to you, but you can't keep lying to yourself like this."


	10. Mask

**Disclaimer: **Uh…still don't own it?

_Note:_ Just a quick little drabble.

**Mask**

**E**dward wore a mask, of sorts. Day in, day out…always the same. Only Alphonse really knew. Only Al was permitted to see the face behind the mask, the exposed elder brother. It was something he cherished, but it frightened him, still.

Ed would put up a front, pretend it was okay. Act all tough and strong. If someone ever figured out the act, the ingenious lie to everyone they may assume it was just to look good, or something to the effect.

In truth, however, the mask was for the both of them-he and his brother.

Ed would walk into the hotel room, knowing that was where Al waited, and the mask would already be wavering. Al cherished the loss of the mask because it helped him know that Edward loved him dearly-trusted him, and regretted lying to him, though he sometimes did in a similar fashion. He also feared the loss of the mask because he _relied_ on the cover-it helped him be strong, showed him it was okay. Supported him. And when it was removed it _confused_ him. He didn't know who was the real Edward anymore, who it was he _loved_…

…But Al was also only just beginning to realize that there was a second mask, hiding Edward's most vital secrets, his _feelings_. This was a mask he dared not remove in front of Alphonse.


	11. My Sacrifice

**Disclaimer: **Do I _still_ have to write these? I'd think you'd have the point, by now…

_Note:_ Keep it short and sweet, Caitlin. Short and sweet. Ed's POV.

**My Sacrifice**

**_I regret not what I gave for you, little brother._**

_I gave up an arm for you, little brother. An entire limb-people may think I'm crazy for something like that, and you may hate me forever for doing what you dubbed as something stupid, but you don't know how lucky, and yet shocked I was about it._

_Just an arm? By far you are worth more than that-much, much more. I would pay most anything to get to back, little brother. This time will be no different._

_Maybe you don't know, 'cause you're soul was in the Gate at the time, but when I fought against searing pain to get you back, I said aloud, to whatever the hell I was expecting to be listening…I told them they could take whatever they wanted-my other leg, my arm, both arms…my heart. I just wanted to get you back, Al._

_Maybe you don't get it, you never will, perhaps. Maybe because I'm your brother, you might not ever have something so strong for me…_

…_I did it out of _love_, little brother. That's all there is to it. I love you as my little brother-I love you as the only one I could ever love._

_I doubt you can ever feel the same…it's _wrong_ and I _know _that. But I don't care, anymore._

_For you, I gave so much-my arm, my dignity, my freedom…and so much more. But it was all to get back what I took from you. Because of me you lost so many precious things-you lost your freedom along with many wonders of the world that people take from granted-sight, smell, taste, hearing, to touch and feel…but mostly I have strained your hold on _humanity_, Al. You can barely reach it anymore, and sometimes I can tell that you almost forget it's there…I'm sorry. It's so hard for you to live like you should be able to-it's so hard for you to be _happy

_There was one sacrifice, though, that I _will never_ regret making, certainly. A major one, one that I _had_ to make. One you deserved for me to make it for you. Though you may not be able to tell, but there was something that I offered that I _did_ give up for you…_

…My heart.


	12. Rust

**Disclaimer:** I'm broke. If I owned something so popular then would I be broke? Eh?

**Rust**

**T**he sound of creaking in the morning, a dull noise echoing through the metallic shell.

Alphonse Elric's armoured body moves into the bathroom of the hotel, staring pointlessly into the mirror.

'_Maybe if I keep staring,'_ he muses with contempt, _'I'll just blink and the metal will fade away. I'll see a sleepy face.'_

He shakes away his foolishness inwardly, and sighs as he looks into the reflective sheet. There are things he'd do, had he a real body, right then. He'd splash water on his face, go to the bathroom, have a bath or a shower…all those things, with the water that he could not feel, the sensations he'd forgotten.

His brother still sleeps in the next room, golden hair splayed, blank strewn across himself, arm hanging off the bed, snoring slight as the early rays of sunlight toy with his figure.

Alphonse admires Edward. He is everything he wishes he will find himself to be, once returned to normal…if returned to normal. He is the golden prodigy-a beautiful, compassionate, genius of a boy.

But if Al cannot _be_ that fair angel, then he will have to settle with the next best, if not truly the _better_ thing. Being under the gaze of those molten coloured eyes forever. Being near the little cherub he loved so dearly. Under those orbs that spilled tears for both brethren.

Edward was certainly an angel-he cried for the young boy he swore to protect. He cried, indeed, and bled for him.

'_Cries those salty tears,'_ the armoured boy muses dully, as, staring into the mirror, he notices, on the breastplate, a touch of rust.


	13. What If We Weren't

**Disclaimer: **Still don't.

_Note:_ Repetitive in the lines. Ed's POV. Inspired by thinking about how my one friend knows I'm an Elricest fan, but she would never be one, because of the whole them being brothers thing. So the thought crossed my mind to ask her; _"What if they weren't brothers? Would you support a love then?"_

**What If We Weren't…**

**What if we weren't** **brothers…**?

If we weren't brothers, I wouldn't have been there to hear you say your first few words.

If we weren't brothers, I wouldn't have been there to hold your hand with mom, to help you on your first few steps.

If we weren't brothers, I'd have not pushed you down, and taught you to stand back up.

If we weren't brothers, I'd not have been able to tell you that dad wasn't coming back.

If we weren't brothers, I'd not have grown so strong.

If we weren't brothers, there'd have been no one to hold so close, when mother's eyes closed tight.

If we weren't brothers I'd never have made that fatal suggestion.

If we weren't brothers…I don't think either of us could have withstood that island alone.

If we weren't brothers, there'd have been no one to cry with on the lonely, rain scattered nights.

If we weren't brothers, I'd have broken down and cried, cried, cried…

If we weren't brothers, I'd have not pulled you into something so dangerous.

If we weren't brothers, I'd have not made such a sacrifice.

If we weren't brothers, I'd have had no inspiration, no purpose to carry on…

If we weren't brothers, there'd have been no one there to support me, to calm me down, to hold me when I was upset…

If we weren't brothers, there'd have been no one to root for me, to help me do what I must do.

If we weren't brothers, there'd have been no one to hold me back.

If we weren't brothers, there'd be no one to watch out for.

If we weren't brothers, there'd be no one to watch out for _me_.

If we weren't brothers, there'd have been no journey.

No goal.

No future.

If you were not my brother, it would not be so wrong to love you like this.

If you were not my brother, we couldn't have shared the smiles and laughter, the tears and the sorrow, the hate and the pain.

If you were not my brother, I'd be a different person.

If you were not my brother…

…I would not want you not to be.


	14. How Do I Love Thee?

**Disclaimer: **I own not Fullmetal Alchemist, and I most certainly do _not_ own the poem used in this fanfiction. It is Elizabeth Browning's lovely work, not mine.

**How Do I Love Thee?**

"_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.  
I love thee to the level of everyday's  
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;"_…

I recall reading that sappy love poem in the library one day, when I couldn't find anything to research. Only now do I realize how it has affected me, my reading of that sappy love poem.

'_How do I love thee, Al? Let me but _attempt_ to count the ways.'_

I love the smoothness of your hair, shining honey-coloured, underneath my fingertips.

I love those silver eyes, gazing up at me with adoration.

Those sweet, soft lips, tasting like candies, curling up toward me in a smile.

That soft face, always so gentle and loving.

That finely tuned body, well muscled and handled, relaxed in my arms.

That gentle loving heart, of one whom loves everything dearly.

That gentle loving heart, of one whom loves _me_ dearly.

The blood that boils beneath your skin, heating up your face as you blush.

The way that you are yet so innocent, even after all of this.

How you understand me, more than anyone else ever could.

How you love me so unconditionally.

I love the way you squirm beneath me, bubbling with love and lust.

I love how you've always been by my side, after all these years.

I love your smile.

Your voice.

Your laugh.

Your tears.

Al…I love everything about you.

…"_I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.  
I love thee with a passion put to use  
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.  
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose  
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,  
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,  
I shall but love thee better after death."_


	15. Reunite

**Disclaimer:** Eh…Christmas is on Monday…we'll have to wait and see.

_Note:_ More or less done for ArraMidnight.

Plus…Happy Holidays! Incase I don't write a Christmas themed drabble. Which I might. I'm thinking about it.

**Reunite**

"_Hey, Al." the calm voice said, golden eyes peering over the book in his hands, curiously._

"_Yeah, brother?" Alphonse asked, metal form creaking._

"_When we…when we get your body back," Edward began, golden orbs scanning Alphonse curiously, "How do you imagine our being reunited?"_

'Your body, too, brother.'_ Alphonse thought, but said nothing of it, knowing his brother knew he'd be thinking that, anyway. "Well…"he started, thinking for a moment, "I think it'll be quiet…a loving moment…I mean we'll finally be truly together again…"_

_Alphonse could see the smile dancing across Edward's features, amber eyes shining. "Yeah…it'll be the best thing. I know it will."_

"_It'll be perfect."_

…

_**X**_

…

"We're ready, Alphonse." Edward said calmly, voice indicating the seriousness of the situation-of how important these next few moments would be.

Both brothers clapped their hands together, then placed them on the etched out transmutation circle in the dark of the warehouse.

Lights danced in front of Edward's eyes and he felt himself growing nauseous, but he steeled his nerve and sat there, unwavering.

The stone glowed in the middle, being pulled apart by the forces of the alchemic reaction-shattering into what resembled, so closely, blood.

The warehouse was suddenly rendered pitch-black, and, though he tried to suppress it, Edward felt the fear bubbling up inside him.

Slowly light grew-dim remnants of the stone, glowing with the after affects of the transmutation.

It was then that Edward laid eyes upon him.

He felt tears well up in his eyes-he was beautiful to Edward, as he peeled off his red jacket, and moved quickly to the boy in the circle, wrapping the jacket around him and pulling him into a roughly sitting position. It was then that he grew worried.

The boy whom Ed _knew_ was his cherished baby brother was _not_ in great shape. His hair was ragged and un-brushed, his ribs and all other bones showing quite evidently, the skin pulled taut around them. He was puffing slightly, as if every breath was an effort.

Slowly the golden eyes of the younger brother peeled open, and he cast the elder boy an apologetic look, "I'm sorry that our reunion wasn't…" he coughed out, "As great as you had hoped."

Ed gave his brother's weak and fragile frame a once over before glancing around at the mouldy and moth-eaten crates and walls of the old, broken down warehouse.

He looked to the cobwebs hanging from each nook, cranny and corner, then a quick gaze at the faint shards of the blood red stone scattered here and there, casting an eerie, supernatural sort of glow across the room.

He took one more look at the ratty, worn body of Alphonse, still in his arms.

Slowly a small smile found its way unto Edward's lips. He bent down to give his younger brother a gentle kiss.

"No, Al. _It's perfect_."


	16. Sugar Cookies

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own it. Christmas isn't 'til tomorrow, people!

_Note:_ Christmas-y! Hoorah! Semi-AU (Since Christmas wouldn't really be in Amestris, normally). My Christmas (or whatever holiday you guys celebrate) present to you : )

Happy holidays!

**Sugar Cookies**

**A**lphonse hummed happily, icing the cookies on the counter contentedly. Sprinkling green and red sprinkles on vanilla icing, over cookies shaped like trees and candy canes.

He jumped as he heard the door creak open, and foot steps padding through the hall, wearily dragging the body along with them.

"Al?" the voice called. Al heard the suitcase dropped.

"In the kitchen, brother!" He quickly finished adding the sprinkles, and then stood in front of the plate, blocking the cookies from view.

"Al?" Ed asked again as he walked into the kitchen, scratching at his rough, unshaven chin. Al would have to remind him to shave…or else he'd forget. Again. "What were ya doin' in here?"

"Nothing." Al winked playfully at the elder boy.

"Oh, really?" Ed asked, dropping his hand from his chin as he tossed his jacket onto the table behind him, and approached Al, putting him into the position of an animal at bay.

"Mmhmm." Al nodded sternly, not letting any emotion show through.

Ed placed a hand on either side of Al, onto the counter before leaning in for a kiss, licking at Al's lips, as Al closed his eyes, accepting the kiss quietly, still not betraying any feelings.

Ed pulled back, a slight smirk on his lips, "Tastes like…vanilla?"

"Yup." Al smiled slightly, stepping slightly out of the way.

"Aw, Al." Ed grinned, "You shouldn't have."

Al winked again, placing a finger over Ed's lips, shushing him, causing Edward to blush. "Merry Christmas, brother."

Ed smiled and kissed Al again, passionately, "Merry Christmas to you, too, Al."

…

The sugar cookies remained on the counter all night, forgotten.


	17. Memories Of Brothers

**Disclaimer:** Christmas came and went...a Fullmetal Alchemist DVD...a Fullmetal Alchemist manga, and I bought the DS game...but no ownership. There's always next year?...Yeah, right.

_Note:_ It's meant to sorta go with '_What If We Weren't..._'

Each little bit (they're sorta mini-drabbles) goes with a line or two from '_What If We Weren't..._' (In order)

You know...I'm more inclined to update if I get reviews. ; ) (winkwinknudgenudge)

**Memories Of Brothers**

**_X_**

**"W**ould you boys like anything, well we're here?" Trisha asked her sons, both boys sitting in a wagon as she pulled them along in the market place, "Anything at all?"

Little Edward grinned up at her, "Candy!" he called up at her-his favourite word, it seemed.

She smiled and laughed, as always and nodded her approval, before bending down to little Alphonse next to his big brother, "Would you like anything, sweetheart?" it was an old thing, by now, trying to get Alphonse to speak-even just one word. But she thought he was just too cute too worry about it, much.

"Brr." Al made one of his usual noises, looking up at his big brother and mother, "Br!"

"Yes, sweetie?" Trisha asked, finding herself slightly hopeful, "What is it?"

"Brudder!" Alphonse suddenly exclaimed, latching onto his big brother.

Trisha first gasped, surprised, then a slow, gradual smile found itself on her features. She glanced down at her eldest son, "It seems he wants _you_, then, Edward."

Edward just looked up at her, blinking stupidly, confused and unknowing.

**_X_**

"Brudder!" the small voice called, and Edward glanced back, a grin spreading across his face as he looked at the younger boy, trying hard to pull himself to his feet.

Trisha noticed this, with a gasp, and dashed to the side of her youngest son, Edward coming along too. Both took his hand, oh so carefully, and guided him along, as he strained to step across the room.

Ed glanced up at his mother, and she nodded, both letting go of the little Alphonse's hands, and backing up a number of steps.

Al glanced around, upset by the lack of support, but kept trying hard to persevere, walking and stumbling...

...And falling. But before Trisha could help him up, he pulled himself back to his feet, determined, and pushed forward toward Ed.  
The elder boy blinked in surprise as tiny arms wrapped around his middle.

"Brudder." he repeated softly, burying his face into his older brother's shirt.

Ed could only smile.

_**X**_

"Damnit, Al!" Edward growled, driving a hand into Alphonse's shoulder, pushing him back. "Listen to me! Dad's. Not. Coming. Back."

"But brother..." the little Al whimpered, looking up at his brother, tears brimming his eyes.

"Not _ever_!" the older boy snapped, angry, "He abandoned us, okay?"

"But brother!" Al repeated, desperate for some consolation.

"Shut _up_!" Ed drove his hand into Al again, fiercely, pushing Al right onto the ground that time. He balled his hands into fists, tensing up, angry...waiting.

Al remained on the ground, sniffling.

"Well?" Ed glared, "What are you waiting for?"

"What?" Al sniffed, "Get up so you can push me down again?"

"Al..." Ed's features softened, and he extended a hand to help Al up, "Never let anyone push you around. Not even me."

Nervously Al took his brothers hand, accepting the help as he hauled himself to his feet.

"No matter how hard you fall, Al." Ed smiled, "_Always_ stand back up."

_**X**_

"Hey, Ed." Winry looked up at him, eyes curious and almost lonely, "Why are you so strong all the time...you're so tough...I don't think I could ever face life like that...not ever." she sighed, "How do you do it?"

"Simple." Ed glanced over his shoulder at the young girl in the grass, "Al."

"Al?" she blinked, plainly confused.

"Mmhmm." Ed nodded, "I needed to grow strong so that I could protect him...

...Forever."

**_X_**

The night their mother died, the brothers Elric held each other close, Al crying silently into his older brother's shoulder.

"C'mon, Al." Ed would assure him, kissing his forehead, causing Al to blush, each time, "It'll be okay. I promise."

Every night was the same.

**_X_**

Al cried that evening. It's not that he hadn't cried the nights leading up to it, no, but he cried harder then. Maybe because it was expected of him, maybe because this was what truly, finally confirmed what had happened.

Maybe because his brother would not cry.

"Brother..." Al whimpered, "I'm cold...and hungry...let's go home..."

"Al." Ed said sternly, suddenly, "Let's bring mom back."

_'With you,'_ Ed though as Al stared up at him, unbelieving, _'I'll have the strength to do it. If we're together.'_

_**X**_

"Hold still, Ed!" Alphonse reprimanded, pouting as he tied the makeshift bandage around the wound on Edward's upper right arm, where the fox had bitten him, "You're going to get it dirty-after I tried so hard to clean it!-and it's going to get infected, an' we'll have to amputate."

Ed stuck his tongue out at Al's teasing, "Yeah, _sure_."

Al finished tying the knot in the cloth and sat down with a sigh, staring up at the dusk sky, glowing red, "You think we'll survive?"

"'Course!" Ed beamed, looking at his baby brother, "We've got each other-we can do anything when we're together, Al, you know that."

Al smiled shyly up at the older boy, "If you say so."

Several minutes passed in silence between the brothers, before Ed finally spoke up, "You know, Al?"

"Yeah?" Al asked, startled by the sudden break in the silence.

"If I did lose my arm..." he started, straightening up, "It would matter."

"Why's that?" Al asked, curious.

"'Cause," Ed started, giving a playful wink, and a kiss on the tip of Al's nose (causing the poor boys face to flame) before dashing off, calling over his shoulder.

"I'd still have you, after all!"

_**X**_

Al stared sadly out the window, gazing through the planes of glass as rain splattered against them, matching the water that was threatening to leak out his eyes.

Ed came quietly up behind the younger, wrapping arms around his middle, resting his head on his shoulder.

For once Al did not blush, but instead glanced up at his brother, "It's so lonely." Al whispered.

Ed nodded, "When it rains, it suddenly seems sorta like it's just the two of us, huh? No one else in the world is left...just us."

Al shook his head, though not in disagreement, before looking out the window again.

"Al..." Ed suddenly verbalized.

Al started-his brother sounded so pained-and looked up at the older boy, and, with evident surprise, noticed the tears forming in his eyes, "Brother?"

"Mm?" Ed made a slight noise of acknowledgement, asking Al silently to continue.

"You haven't cried much before..."

"I wanted to be strong for you, Al." he said quietly, "I didn't want to break down...you prevented that."

"Brother..." Al whispered sadly, looking up at him.

"Mm." Ed smiled sadly, kissing his brothers cheek, "Guess we'll cry together, this time."

Al nodded quietly, turning completely, wrapping his arms around his brother, burying his face into his chest.

And together they cried.

_**X**_

"Water...35 liters...Ammonia...four liters..." Edward continued on, listing all the ingredients, as he went, for thehuman body. "Brother," Al started, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, Al. Of course."

Al nodded quietly, before a thought struck him, "Brother...why pick me to help?"

Ed looked at Al like that was the stupidest question he could have asked, "Because you're my brother...and she's your mom-"

"No." Al cut him off, shaking his head, "I'm not as good at alchemy as you, brother, and I'm not as smart...You could have easily found someone more skilled-your odds would improve.

A slow smile gradually found it's way onto Ed's lips, "No, Al...you're my brother. You're the only one I trust."

**_X_**

Edward dragged himself toward the suit of armour, painfully, slowly...knocking it down to the ground, knocking the helmet off.

He ran his finger through his own blood-the blood he and Alphonse shared...the blood he would use to save Al from that dreaded place.

He drew the seal in the neck of the armour, a seal that came to him in the desperation of the gate.

He then proceeded to draw it on himself-on his arms, on his heart. "I'll give you my leg," he panted, "My arms, or my heart..."

"So give him back," he growled, "He's the only little brother I have!"

Maybe that was when Edward realized it-you could and _would_ give anything for love.

_**X**_

"I'm going to become a State Alchemist." Edward growled, "No matter what...I'll get the automail, and I'll do this!"

"But _why_?" the younger boy whined, voice echoing from inside the armour, "Why, brother?"

"Don't be stupid, Al." Ed looked up at him, "_For you._"

**_X_**

The bond of brothers could grow so strong...in their troubles Al sat by him, calmed him down, and held him back.

Now that _Al_ was the one unable to cry, it was now his job to hold _Edward_ when _he_ did.

_**X**_

"Maybe I can't take the test, from here on out, myself," Al began, looking to the older boy, "But I want to be there when you take it."

"Al?" Ed asked, startled, "How do you expect me to sneak a suit of armour in there?"

Al sighed, "You don't get it do you, brother?" he moved closer, bringing a metal and leather hand up to rest on Ed's chest, before tapping lightly over where Ed's heart would be (Ed blushed), "I want to be there with you...

...And I expect you to pass."

_**X**_

"You sick bastard..." Edward growled, grabbing a fist full of Tucker's shirt with his left hand, balling his right into a fist, "You used your own daughter!"

Al stood back for the moment, seeing the metal fist rise and fall into Tucker's face. Al grabbed Ed's arm, "Brother...you'll kill him."

Ed looked up at his little brother, and slowly calmed himself.

**_X_**

It was always the same.

"Don't ever touch my little brother!" Ed would growl, or snarl, or snap. He'd not let them lay a finger of mal intention of the suit of armour he cherished so much.

He'd fight with everything he had to protect his baby brother.

It was always the same...

Not five minutes later, it'd be _Al_ getting _Ed _out of trouble.

_**X**_

"This journey, Al...Has always...

Been for you."


	18. Phone Calls

**Disclaimer: **Insert witty disclaimer here?

_Note:_ Look! It's Winry! Implied Winry x Paninya.

**Phone Calls**

**T**he phone was thing to use. Whenever Alphonse felt lonely, sad, uncertain, _anything_ he felt that nervous apprehension about, the feeling that prevented his talking to his brother about the troubles…those were the things that led the young blonde to the phone.

And thus Winry seemed to know all of his deep, dark secrets, as many of them were ones Al would rather not even _attempt_ to explain to his brother.

"I really do love him, Winry." Al frowned into the phone, and Winry laughed.

"I get it, Al." her voice sounded kind, "I understand what it's like to be so in love with someone…"

Al smiled at the device in his hands, this time, glad the Winry knew, and by the sincerity of her voice, he was sure that the person she loved-whoever it might be-was very cherished by the mechanic.

Winry hummed slightly, the sound melding with the background sounds of metals and tools tinkling, "Hold still, Paninya!" she scolded. By the sound of it, Al guessed, she was checking out Paninya's automail, but the reproving tone was kind.

"But what would he say if he knew, Winry?" Al whined instead.

This earned Al a slight laugh, "I've got a sort of relationship not so widely accepted, too, remember?" the scratching sort of sound made Al believe she was shaking her head at him, phone cradled between her ear and shoulder, the fabric rubbing against it.

Al pouted, "At least you aren't in love with your brother."

"…Point." Winry mumbled the word, still, by the sound, tinkering with Paninya's automail.

"But do you think brother would mind?"

"Mind what?"

The sudden voice from behind Al made him jump-he hadn't even realized his brother had gotten home from work, after all-and spin around, "Br-brother!"

All Winry, on the other end, heard as she exchange a glance with the girl sitting close to her, was the noise of the phone clattering to the floor.


	19. Valentine's

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it, really. I don't.

_Note:_ This note isn't really anything important. You don't have to read, if you don't want to.

Just want to give a shout out to some people with this Valentine's Day bit…those people are:

My friends David, Mike, Blythe and Ingrid, all for various reasons. Some others would be bramblerose4, Tayels and Riraku-san (Those two are my beloved beta-ers.), lilnitenurse, AmaranthineAnathema and ArraMidnight. There are probably more I should acknowledge, but I don't want to take up _too_ much space.

I was going to update one of my other romance fics for Valentine's but…I'm a ditz, and forgot.

If you people think I write too much fluff, or that that's all I write… I'm writing a disturbing angst!fic, which is longer than just about anything else I've written, before.

Also…love my overly creative title, lyekfwoah?

HohenheimxEd, RoyAl and WinryxSheska if you care to see it that way, but very _very_ light, if at all.

So happy Valentine's (Elricest) Day, everyone. I love you 33

**Valentine's**

Edward Elric had never been one for religion. Or holidays. Or celebrations. Or love. Or romance. Or anything sweet and trivial…

So what was it that had made Alphonse try anyway? He just hoped, so desperately, that he might make Ed smile, might make him be happy, _live_ and _love_ for a time. That was all he had wanted.

And what better day to do it then Valentine's Day?

Alphonse hummed a little as he stood in the kitchen, as he multitasked. He was baking a cake, transmuting some decorations and writing a shopping list all at once. "Chocolates…" he mumbled as he scribbled the word down, cracking another egg with his free hand, just before reaching over to adjust the papers slightly, and pressing fingers down onto the transmutation circle he had left on some of the free papers – though that resulted in him having to be more careful of the process, wishing to _avoid_ attaching the circle to the decorations.

He nearly did this _and_ spilt the flour when the phone began to ring. "I'm coming!" he called out pointlessly as he moved quickly to retrieve the annoying object, "Hello?"

"Hey, Al." Al's heart nearly skipped a beat before it began to flutter at the identification of the one calling, "I'm not coming home tonight."

Al's heart sank at his brother's words, but he quickly brightened, realizing how easy this made things, "Perfect!"

"Um…Al…"

Al blushed stupidly at his mistake, and quickly amended, "Perfect 'cause you were complaining about the project you were working on in the lab." He nodded, satisfied with the excuse, and scratched at the back on his head nervously, running nails through long, dirty blonde hair, "You said you needed to work on it a lot, right? This way you can come some more done."

Ed sounded surprised as he spoke slowly, as if Al was still a child, "Well...that's why I'm staying the night in the first place, Al…"

"O-of course!" Al laughed weakly, "Of course. Silly me." He shook his head, then changed the subject to more pressing matters, "You _will_ be home tomorrow, though…right?"

"Yeah." Ed still sounded rather lost, "Why?"

"N-no reason." Al stammered, "Bye!" without allowing a response to form he slammed the phone down onto its cradle. With a remorseful sigh he ran his hands through his hair, cursing himself for being so stupid, fighting back the blush, despite no one being there to see, "Stupid, _stupid_ me."

He shook his head and took a deep breath, in an effort to calm himself down, before going to finish his various chores.

_**X**_

Edward trudged along slowly toward the apartment that he and Al now shared, dragging his feet sleepily. At the moment he just wanted to get home, and get some sleep. Well maybe – probably – he would eat some dinner first, but that wasn't the point. Sleep.

As he opened the door, his mind was too lagged to instantly recognize the difference in the usual – that being that the lights were out, leaving a few candles as the only light source in the apartment, and a faint perfume-like scent filled the air. At that exact moment he was occupying himself with the task of removing his jacket to hang it up, right after he tossed his briefcase onto the couch. There was a soft clearing of throat 'please pay attention to me' sort of noise, catching Ed's attention effectively, causing him to glance up. And that's when he noticed the scene. Before him, veiled in darkness and soft candle light, stood Alphonse, dressed neatly in a dark suit, hair combed neatly, a faint, cute blush staining his cheeks. The room he stood in – their living room/dining room, of sorts – had a neatly set out table, covered in the glorious substance known as food. And not just any food, no. Edward saw steak, roast beef, mashed potatoes, carrots, corn, a partial bottle of _champagne_ – he made a mental note to ask Al about that – among many other fancy sorts of foods. In the middle of the arrangement, next to the bottle, stood a few candles, along with a flower vase, where a few roses of varying colours stood.

His glance flitted back up to Al, "Um…Al…?"

Al's blush seemed to deepen, but he said nothing, at first, and instead stepped toward the table, pulling out the chair, and making a vague gesture to it, which Ed accepted, sitting down in the indicated piece of furniture, dumbfounded. Still without a word of explanation, Al sat down in the chair across from Ed.

"Al?" Ed tried again; looking over everything quietly, "Why are you…?" he stopped, unable to formulate a proper question.

"I wanted…" Al stammered slightly, "I wanted to do something nice…for you…" the blush on his face deepened, and only Ed's blatant confusion and ignorance helped him fend of the smile that the sight provoked.

"What's the occasion?" he asked, instead.

Al looked up at him, blinking, "It's V-Valentine's Day, brother…"

Ed blinked in response, "Oh." He replied, intelligently. Then with an answer matching the brilliance of his first response, he continued, "Aren't you supposed to spend that with the ones you love?"

Al frowned, a flash of hurt crossing his face, "But…" he whispered, "I love _you_, brother…"

"I love you, too, Al, but-"

"More than that." Alphonse interrupted him with a flat voice.

"Oh."

The silence dragged on for a long minute, and Ed decided to occupy himself with the food, taking a sip of the champagne and digging into his steak. After a time he noticed Al had begun to do the same, and he made a stab at starting up the conversation again, "Where'd you get this?" Ed asked, making a vague gesture to the sparkling liquid in the bottle as it shone in the light of the small, dancing flames, "I mean, no offense, but no one would think that you're of age."

Al blinked stupidly for a moment, before a sly smile crossed his features, "I convinced the Colonel to lend me some."

Ed felt his jaw go slack, "As in Colonel Bastard…?" Al nodded, "And he gave _you_…alcohol…?" another nod. Ed made a mental note to kill him, but this was only betrayed by a twitch.

Al snickered, "He didn't give me much, though." He nodded, agreeing to his own statement, "Not enough to make either of us drunk, even if we drank it all our selves, without food, and all that stuff. Not much of it, but something to make it…more special."

Ed played with the idea of thanking the Colonel for considering _that_ much, but decided that that could be dealt with _after_ he brutally murdered Mustang.

"So I got some other things to drink, too." Al smiled, "Mostly to go with desert."

"Oh." Ed nodded, "That's…that's good."

The silence reigned again, dancing over the two brothers as they ate in silence. Al shook his head at his own private thoughts, and Ed noticed the lack of bouncing ponytail, with surprise, "Al?" he blinked, "You cut your hair?"

Al nodded, blushing a bit, and touched the hair that tickled the base of his neck, self-consciously, "Yeah…Winry, Sheska and the others told me I looked better like this, you know." Al gazed at his brother with the unasked question.

Ed nodded, catching Al's meaning, "You…you do."

Al smiled, satisfied, "Hey, brother?"

"Yeah, Al?"

"I'm glad you came to dinner."

Ed had thought he'd had no choice in the matter, but didn't say that, "'Welcome."

After a long moment, Al cleaned up the empty dinner dishes, and came back with a cake and the utensils needed for eating it. After getting a piece of the heart shaped delicacy, he disappeared into the kitchen again, and came back with a box of chocolates, and two glasses, once of fruit juice, and one of milk. He wordlessly set the glass of juice in front of his own plate, and milk in front of the elder's.

"Milk, Al?" Ed quirked an irritated eyebrow in Al's direction.

"Your favourite." Al smiled.

Ed twitched slightly, but leaned down to sniff the glass, recognizing the slightly different scent of it. With a grin he took the glass in both hands, taking a sip. "Fruit flavoured milk." He hummed contentedly.

Al laughed a little, and then held out the box of chocolates toward his brother, "Happy Valentine's Day, brother. I…I love you."

Ed gave Al a warm smile, accepting them, "I…love you, too."

Al grinned at this, blushing, as he took his seat.

"So what?" Ed looked at the cake in front of him, then to the box of chocolate in his hands, then back to the cake, "Trying to make me fat?"

Al snickered slightly, "No, of course not."

"Good."

With that last word, silence filled the room again, but instead of the awkward, uneasiness it carried previously, it was now a content wordlessness, both brothers happy to sit in each other's presence like such, feasting on deserts.

After Al had cleaned up from dinner, Ed went to him, wrapping his arms around him, uneasily, "Thanks, Al. For everything."

Al smiled gingerly to his older brother, "Anything for you, you should know that."

Ed nodded slightly, and vaguely noticed that the perfume smell had been coming from Al the entire time, a scent not unlike the one their father had always carried about him, though it wasn't unpleasant at all as it assaulted his nostrils.

Breaking away from the hug, Edward examined Alphonse dully in the dim lighting, before mumbling a quiet, "You do look good in this lighting…"

Edward Elric had never been one for religion. Or holidays. Or celebrations. Or love. Or romance. Or anything sweet and trivial…

So what was it that had made Alphonse try anyway? He just hoped, so desperately, that he might make Ed smile, might make him be happy, _live_ and _love_ for a time. That was all he had wanted.

So this, he realized as Ed pinned him to the floor of the kitchen, was definitely not what he had been hoping for…

"Loose the suit."

But Al wasn't complaining.


	20. The Valley of White Petals

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it, really, I don't…

_Note:_♥ A birthday present for Seiya! ♥

Happy birthday, Seiya, since I'm sure you're reading this! ♪

You may notice that this is named after the third novel. That is because it is based off of the Elricest I find in that novel. This is like a follow up to the story…so there are some slight spoilers, but nothing too major, or anything.

**The Valley of White Petals**

Edward's mouth open wide as he yawned, rubbing sleep from his eyes with his human hand.

Alphonse wished he could have smiled at the sight, but seeing as he was a hunk of metal, he settled on a light chuckle instead, "Tired, brother?"

"Yeah." Ed nodded, "Taking out that pain, Raygen, really took something outta me!" he stretched like a cat, lying out across the bench of the train car. Al watched him, content to do just that, from the bench across from his brothers.

"You did good, brother." Al said, scarcely more than a whisper.

Ed grinned slightly, "Don't I always?" the grin twisted into a wicked smile, and he laughed, "Ah, the great Fullmetal Alchemist does it again!"

Alphonse laughed weakly in response, his gaze finding its way to the window once more. He watched the retreating desert, thinking of the seeming paradise they had found. He sighed with the thought.

Edward's triumphant look dissipated, and was replaced by one of concern, "Al?" he asked, rising to a sitting position, "Alphonse?"

"Hmm?" Al looked up, as if not realizing he'd even made a noise, "What is it, brother?"

"You seem…" Ed frowned, "I dunno, _distressed_ or something."

Al wished he could smile again, "I'll miss them…"

A scowl broke across Ed's features, "You mean _Ruby_?" he practically spat the name.  
Alphonse wasn't sure why the thought got him so riled up, "What, do you _like _her or something?" Ed folded his arms across his chest.

Alphonse could have _sworn_ he felt the face of the armour heat up – but that couldn't be, it was physically impossible, "N-no!" he sputtered, instead.

Edward quirked an eyebrow at Al's embarrassment – if Al was right and the armour wasn't able to blush (as one would logically assume) then his voice must give it away, anyway – and his scowl morphed into a frown, "You _do_ don't you?" Ed asked.

If Al had had a lip, then he would've bitten it, but as it was, he managed to wince slightly at the tone in his brother's voice, "She was…n-nice, though…" he winced again as he realized, too late, that that was the wrong thing to say, as the sorrow in Ed's eyes deepened, "Why, brother?" he asked instead, "Why does it even bother you?"

Ed bit his lip and looked out the window – was that some pink that Al saw on his brother's cheeks? – to avoid Al's gaze, "I…" Edward began, "I guess it's my fault you can't be with her, then."

Al felt like his brother was leaving something out, but he didn't pursue it, and instead said, "Brother, I wouldn't leave your side, anyway."

Edward made a squeak-like noise, and turned further away, hiding his face completely from view.

"Brother?"

"Yeah, Al?"

"She was right, wasn't she?" Edward looked up at the speaking boy, a confused look playing on his features. Alphonse continued with an explanation, "You were _jealous_, weren't you?"

This time Al could clearly see Ed's face go a dark shade of pinkish red, as the older blond sputtered, "I-I…!"

Al couldn't help but laugh, "You _were_, weren't you, brother?" he felt like he was smiling on the inside, for reasons he couldn't place.

"I…" Ed began, hopelessly. He sighed, and gave in, with a quiet "Yeah, I was…" in defeat.

"Oh, brother." Al pulled himself up from the bench, looking quickly from side to side, as if checking if anyone was watching, before leaning over to give the smaller boy a gentle hug, "I'll never leave you. You should know that."

Edward blushed again, but hugged the younger back, "Thanks, Al." he smiled, "I want you to be with me, always…

"…That's the best gift you could ever give me."


	21. Ed's Questions

**Disclaimer: **Really…

_Note_: I'm going to do a companion piece to this one, too (like I have companion pieces planned for a couple other of my drabbles), but that'll come…sometime after I finish my Geography project ;-;

This one's in Ed's point of view. The second will be Al's.

Works almost like an interview? I don't know how to explain it…you'll see.

**Who?**

My own _brother_.

I know it's wrong, even if it feels right. I hate myself for it, yet he keeps on loving me.

_Loving me_. Unconditionally. More than anyone or anything has ever been loved by him before, or ever can be. I know it's wrong, but he carries on as if he doesn't know…

My own flesh and blood. My only remaining blood family. My kin. My brother.

My love.

My lov_er_.

**What?**

Our final sin.

After all of these years of sinning, and of misery, after we had finally settled down, living a peaceful life together. And then there was the next sin.

The sin of loving one another, of wanting to be together like this, like no brothers are supposed to be. The sin of incest and the sin we will live with for the rest of our lives, no matter how wrong it is…

It is our _sweetest_ sin.

**Where?**

Everywhere.

No matter where we go, alone or together, we love one another, the way we should not love one another. We may not act upon it, but often we do.

I see him cast me shy glances, and blush, and then I'll cautiously reach my hand out to his, underneath the table of the restaurant where Colonel Bastard so graciously invited us for dinner, where he gestured for us to sit, unknowingly allowing the two secret lovers to sit next to one another, nearly shoulder to shoulder.

Or maybe it will be at the library, where I'll notice those shy looks, that cute blushing face and I'll look around, confirm that the dark corner is our sanctuary, and move boldly toward him, and plant a gentle kiss on his lips, and smirk when he blushes more.

But mostly it's at our home – especially our room. We sign the contract with our shared blood, confirming this sin, and making it so neither of us can ever deny what we have done, but we don't think of this, generally, until after it's done with, and we lie together, hair and sweat mingling, lying content in each other's arms.

So this thing cannot be defined to any 'where', but simply noted that it is carried with us, forever, no matter where we go.

It, in a sense, _is_ us.

**When?**

When? It depends on what you mean…

From dawn until dusk, every day of every week of every month of every year, and all of the hours between, from this day forward. We are together almost constantly, and it starts everyday…

I wake in the morning to be in his arms, but dare not wake him, and cuddle closer, breathing in his scent, not daring to be so clingy while he's awake, and lie there, happy to be like this, for once, with my head on his chest, until he wakes, and I pretend that I was still sleeping. He strokes my hair, and plants soft kisses on my forehead and the rest of my face, until I stir, and slowly opening my eyes, with an overdramatic yawn. He smiles, then, and whispers a greeting to me, a 'good morning' or a 'rise and shine'.

It continues throughout the day, too, our fingers interlocked, and our bodies always close together, until the evenings, when we forget our separate bodies and become one, merged together without a care in the world beyond the other, then we lie together, in silence, for an hour or so, until we drift asleep…

If you wish to know when it happened, that is a much harder question to answer.

I'm sure it was somewhere between all the pain, and the suffering, when we had only one another to rely on, and when we knew that without the other we were nothing, that our quest was nothing, that we were the most important things to each other. Maybe in all of that, maybe that was when it happened…

But it does not matter, so much _when_…

**Why?**

Because we needed – still need – one another.

We need to be together, despite the challenges – despite how wrong it is, despite how the guilt builds in my stomach every time he and I…

We wanted to be closer together – to be as close as possible, to be able to hold one another, so very close, and support each other…

These are all lame excuses, but I can't help it – there's no way I can possibly explain this. I can't explain _why_ or anything like that.

It just is.

It's just too hard to give up perfection…

**How?**

Because we were all we had left, after all that happened, and we couldn't give it up, and so something was born from all of it, and now we are together, and our love grew so strong from what happened.

I remember how we came to be together…

It was in the spring, and it was raining…I had felt guilty with my feelings for him for so long, and…I was so glad when I found out he loved me, too…

I guess I can't explain this either – it's something for me to cherish, for myself, and there is no need to explain it, not ever.

**In conclusion?**

I'm addicted to his touch. I'm obsessed with him.

I can't get enough of his fingers dancing across my flesh, the tender kisses he places across my skin, and the way he feels against my skin, hot and passionate, and loving…

Though it hurts me to do this, because I can't help but think that I'm dirty for these thoughts, I can't even come to think that it's truly _wrong_. Not when I feel so good and wonderful next to him, when I see how perfectly we fit into each other's arms (among fitting together other ways...).

And even if it sometimes hurts, and I can't help but disregard what others might think, especially if this is what Al wants, what makes him happy…

Because we've finally found our little happiness, even in sin, and it's our _perfection_.


	22. Blind

**Disclaimer:** Yeah…do I have to keep doing this?

_Note:_ Inspired by someone on livejournal, and her icon post (somehow). I'll edit it when I get the username, I guess.

The title and theme of it is sort of symbolic…but I won't say how, 'cause I want to see if you people will get it :)

…I like writing and posting fanfiction at school! X3

**Blind**

It was quiet.

For the first time in hours – it felt like an eternity – but it was.

Alphonse sighed sadly, staring down at the book in his lap which he had been reading – or at least trying to – but finding himself totally unable to focus on the words on the pages spread out before him. Chemicals and formulas, warnings and advice…it all held no meaning any longer, not a single word of it.

He turned his eyes up from the dull, yellowing white of the parchment, locking onto the head of long, silken blonde hair that rested on the pillow on the bed he sat next to, the hair moving as the pale face tossed and turned in a restless, unsettled sleep.

"Alphonse…" came the soft whisper from pale, sweating lips.

"I'm right here, brother." Alphonse said quietly, reaching over with a weak hand, brushing his fingers across the cheek of the older blonde.

The older just whimpered, retreating from his younger brother's hand, shaking his head, "Alphonse…where are you...?"

"I'm right here." He repeated, slowly, trying to show patience and calm, despite the terrible panic that was constantly present in the bottom of his gut, now.

Edward was silent for a long moment, and Alphonse had thought that his brother might have fallen back to rest, for a second, but then his voice came again, cracked and unsteady, "Will you…hold me, Al?"

Alphonse couldn't help but smile, and moved a bit closer, placing one hand on his brother's cheek, taking his brother's hand in the other, "You'll have to sit up if you want to be held better."

Edward whimpered again, looking like he wanted to pull away from the grasp, but he made no move at all, "Are you…afraid to hurt me?"

"No, brother…I have no reason to worry – I can't hurt you _that_ easily…"

"Then why won't you hold me? Why do you have someone else do it?"

Alphonse sighed, but forced a smile, hoping it would show in his voice instead of the terrible hurt he felt, "It _is _me, brother."

"I'm not stupid…you don't feel like this…you don't feel…"

"'Human', brother?" Edward didn't respond, "It's okay, brother, I'm not mad if that's what you were going to say…" _even if it did_ _hurt_ "But believe me – it _is_ me."

Edward's eyelids slowly drifted opening, revealing two dim eyes, as he pulled himself into a sitting position, the pale green hospital clothes clinging tight to his skinny, sweat drenched frame.

"Brother…" Alphonse said slowly, "How much…do you remember?"

"I remember…" he said, but his voice dropped to an almost inaudible level, making Alphonse have to strain to hear him, "I remember trying to bring you back…I only know you're hear now because I remember…your voice…" he smiled sadly to himself, "It's so clear in my memories…"

Alphonse felt hurt once more, bringing the older boy into his arms fully, now, "Brother…when you tried to bring me back…it _worked_, damn it!" he felt the sting of tears in his eyes, and he bit his lip, sealing his eyes shut tight, trying not to cry, "It's me, brother…" he pulled away, opening his eyes, looking deep into the pale yellow, almost white eyes, "Your eyesight…it must've been taken away for…for equivalent exchange…" '_You lost it because of _me.'

Edward looked away, maybe at some point he imagined up in his mind's eye, "How do I know…how do I know that you're just avoiding letting me get hurt…because it didn't work?"

"Brother…" Alphonse whispered, hearing his own voice crack, the tears beginning to stream down his face, scalding his cheeks, "I wish there was some way I could prove it to you…"

Edward hummed, his voice rich with bitterness when he spoke, though Alphonse knew it wasn't directed at him, "How do you make a blind man see?"

"I…" Alphonse whimpered slightly, "I couldn't cry if I wasn't real…"

Edward seemed startled by this, and started groping around for the face, "A-Al…Alphonse…"

Alphonse took the hand and guided it to his face, "Why can't you just believe, brother? Why can't you trust yourself?"

"I...I just can't…I've screwed up way too much, in the past, to be able to trust myself…and you're nice enough to lie not to hurt me."

"I would do that because I _love_ you, brother!" Alphonse whispered, fiercely, taking no notice of how this seemed to startle Edward, "I want to prove to you…"

He took a breath, then, pulling the older boy close to him, pressing the weak body against his own, delicate shape, crashing his lips down in a gentle, yet fierce kiss. He opened his eyes, after a long moment, regarding the other's wide, if sightless, eyes, and couldn't help but smile into the other's lips as the look softened greatly, and the blind one let out a pleased whisper.

"Alphonse…"


	23. The Strength to Protect

**Disclaimer:**If I owned an anime stuff like this would be canon and that'd be kind of scary…

_Note:_ Written for a friend, like, months ago…features girl!Ed.

I need less cheesy of titles…

**The Strength to Protect**

He had always fought to be strong, though all their lives – he was the brother, younger or not, and so he thought it was his duty to be strong, to be there for his older sister, no matter the consequences.

She was a _girl_ after all…

But over the years his views began to change. Though there were the times that she would retreat to his arms, in need of comfort, but often it was he who would need the help, the comfort, and the console, which he would find, quite easily, in her strong, mismatched arms.

But the important thing, he discovered, was that they were there for each other. Neither needed the help more than the other – they needed one another.

And console was easily found on the other's lips, in times of need…

"…I love you."


	24. Trapped

**Disclaimer:** Santa forgot again this year :(

_Notes:_ The least Christmas-y gift!fic ever.

_**Warnings:**_ Genderswitch and allusions to abuse. Yay.

**Trapped**

She told herself she deserved this.

All of it.

After everything she had put her little brother through, he deserved to do whatever he pleased to her – no matter how much it hurt.

No matter how much she wanted to cry.

She knew Alphonse wasn't well, but…she couldn't help but feed into his desires – his decaying mental health. She would give him every little kiss or touch he requested of her – whether painful or pleasurable. And…he struck her when she suggested he see someone…someone to sort all of this out. To help him. But as she stared at him, wide eyed – almost _frightened_ – he quickly seized the moment and kissed at her, stroking all of her, and whispering soothing, loving words of comfort and care. He was trapped, she knew – trapped within himself…and there was nothing she could do to help him, but give him whatever he wished.

Because she deserved it.

All of it.

After everything she had put her little brother through, he deserved to do whatever he pleased to her – no matter how much it hurt.

No matter how much she wanted to cry.

And she was the one trapped.


End file.
